Posted by: carolyn / through a widow's eyes | March 12, 2015

“Cancer Scare”

Someone I dearly love has been going through a “cancer scare”. (Or is it only called that after the danger has passed harmlessly by, like a threatening thunderhead over a distant vista? And if it doesn’t pass harmlessly by, it’s called CANCER.)

When I heard the news I thought, this person is such a beautiful being, so healthy, so full of life, with much good work still to do here. This simply isn’t possible.

Then I remembered, Oh yes, it certainly is possible.

This person has kids. One is heading off to college next year. This family does not have time for cancer. Oh. Right.

Our beautiful girl considered and visited colleges, wrote and rewrote her essays, applied to schools, was accepted, worked for scholarships, figured out financial aid, all while continuing to do well in school and her many activities, all during the time her father was diagnosed and undergoing treatment.

The Monday after her high school graduation, we started home hospice. The date was not a coincidence.

Our darling girl left home for college six weeks after her father died, a feat of bravery and fortitude that to this day, years later, still takes my breath away.

Her father, my Jeff, was also a beautiful being, healthy, full of life with much more good work still to do here.

He got to do some of it.

To my friend, upon hearing this news, the old me would have said, “Oh, I’m sure you’ll be fine!”
The new me.

Did not.


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