Posted by: carolyn / through a widow's eyes | August 29, 2011

How did I get here?

Online, I stumbled across (not literally, you understand) a man whose screen name is “luvwomensbodies”. Really, guy? REALLY? How is that workin’ for ya? Stackin’ up like cordwood, are they? I think not. And that picture of you leering into the camera: not so much. Ewww.

Lord, save me from the men who don’t think being friends is an important first step.

Save me from the men who don’t think being friends is important.

Save me from the men who don’t think.

Save me from the men.

Save me.



How did I get here?


Thanks for nothing, Jeff.

Except maybe for the clarity of knowing with certainty “up with which I will not put.”

Oh, and the 20 years of marriage, for better and for worse, til death do us part. (As it did.) For that.

And for the decade and a half of friendship & loving kindness first. For the gift of knowing, with unwavering certainty, we should be together.

And also for the kid, that light of my life, that girl who holds her arms akimbo and cocks her head just like you and raises one eyebrow and comes out with exactly what you would have said.

Just those things. Thank you.

We are still here, and so we are supposed to live, and keep on living.

“Living because we didn’t die”,  in the words of one of us.

So we will get through this.


It was Matt, with his artist’s eye,  who said,

My god, it’s Jeff standing there on that beach.



  1. Amen ❤


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