Posted by: carolyn / through a widow's eyes | May 21, 2011

Ok, forget it.

Today I read some (more) advice about renewing one’s life after loss. Lots of empathic, kind, and helpful words of wisdom, often. But…

“To be successful at online dating it may be necessary to treat it like a 2nd job. It is not a passive exercise; you have to give it your best effort. Even if it is uncomfortable, you need to contact the people who interest you rather than waiting to be contacted. After all, you have a better idea for what you are looking than some stranger! Post your BEST photos & take the time to write a thoughtful, dynamic profile.”

For some people I am sure this is the perfect strategy to invigorate a sad and lonely life. Just not for me.

Nothing of the great and the good in my life has ever come about from this sort of introspection and effort. Not my vocation or avocations, not my education, not my marriage, not my child, not my house, not my animals, not my friends, not lovers in a previous life, nothing. Not gonna start now.

It has to flow or it isn’t happening.

And besides, it sounds like you have to know what you want to do next. Uh, and be willing to pick your new life out of a lineup.

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